With all the NES game fan art I've done, it's about freaking time I put up something for Battle Toads!
Here's The Dark Queen, the evil bodacious babe from Rare's classic, and probably my first introduction to obnoxiously sexy game girls. Rash and Zitz look pumped and ready for battle, but fear not Dark Queen fans - she WILL kick their asses. I know, I've been there before. It's going to take the toads a good 50 ass beatings before they can finally save the day. Battle Toads is the most difficult game I've ever beaten, and it's the only NES game that I can only beat via cheating (this excludes the games I just plain can't beat, period). I could never even make it past stage 3 as a kid, and that's the last easier stage. From that point on the game is IMPOSSIBLE, and there's still a good 10-15 stages after that. And if the game wasn't hard enough already (still have horrifying flash backs to the laser disc chase stage) when you finally reach the Dark Queen's sexy little ass, she's IMPOSSIBLE. Once you get the hang of that damn tornado move, she'll still knee your ass away every freaking second. The biggest problem is that in every beat-em-up stage after stage 3, the Toad's attack functions get set to random. Pressing the attack button can randomly result in a punch combo, a kick combo, or a super time-killing ground pound move that doesn't even work on a lot of enemies. So you have no control over what they will try on the Dark Queen. If they do a move that's animation is just a litle longer than regular, she'll just go through you and knee you across the room. I like a good challenge, but Battle Toads is just cruel. I don't know what made Rare so angry back in the day, but they really took it out on all their fans. Very surprising that by the time the SNES came out, Rare started producing some of the easiest games ever.
Anyway, the Dark Queen was a pretty badass villain, even if she did have a whack-ass army of cow-men and giant rats with mohawks. She was so badass, in fact, that when you get a game over, she literally EATS the toads. Holy crap. What a messed up thing to happen in a game. You f*ck up so some busty chick cooks your ass and eats you, WHILE TALKING SH*T TO YOUR CORPSE! There is no denying the awesomeness of that. There was also a crappy pilot episode for a Battle Toads cartoon show put out once which featured the Dark Queen as the main villain, but that didn't make it and we're very fortunate that it didn't, or all our cherished memories of Battle Toads would probably have died.
Enjoy retro fans!